Mr. Really Useful

I’ve often joked that if we could look inside Nathan’s head, we’d find trains chugging along on a circular track. At his 5-year old check up, his doctor thought he saw Sir Topham Hatt waving out of his left ear. Nathan’s love affair with anything related to Thomas and Friends or trains in general is still going strong. Even the thought that his little sister might not be interested in Thomas is incomprehensible to him. He’s a little one-tracked, to use a pun. He tends to run through the house, and when I have to tell after him to slow down, I get some kind of comment yelled back over his shoulder referencing Thomas chugging down a track. His Dad and I have to remind him that Sir Topham Hatt often tells the steam engines to slow down.

One really good thing that has come from his infatuation is that it has nurtured Nathan’s natural desire to be helpful, or in Thomas’ terms, to be a really useful engine. He is our little helper; carrying in stuff from the Suburban, unloading the dishwasher, loading the washing machine, and playing with his baby sister. Sometimes it’s a little more help than Mommy wants at the time, but, in general, it has been a useful tool to keep him occupied and out of trouble. As much as he loves Thomas and Friends, I expect if his interest in Thomas ever fades, he’ll still continue his love affair with trains.

I know he’s growing up when I can’t get footed pajamas in his size in the Thomas theme. He’s at that intermediate age where he’s still very much a little boy cuddled with his stuffed dogs and bears in bed and dragging his rubby around the house when he’s tired or sick, and yet on the brink of being a big boy, riding his bike, playing baseball and football with his brother, reading lots of books on his own, and learning handwriting and math. I admire the change in him. I watch him from a distance and see that the baby look in his face is fading. His body movements are smoother and more self-assured, and his questions are becoming more thoughtful. And yet I still want to hold onto the little boy. The one who cuddles in my lap and would rather have me read to him more than anything in the world. He’ll always be my baby, but this year he’s 5! Happy birthday, Nathan.

Waiting for a Birthday

“Is it my birthday today?” Nathan asked every morning for about 2 weeks. It’s so hard for him to wait through the four birthdays that come before his. He joyfully celebrates each and every person’s special day, but it is all his little heart can take to wait for his…last, but certainly not least. No wonder he was born a little more than 2 weeks early. We just thought he was in a hurry to get here before Thanksgiving. Little did we know that he was planning for the future and closing the gap between birthdays!

“Is it my birthday today?” Yes, Nathan, it’s today. Yippee! For a while he seemed to just be satisfied that it was finally his big day. No rush to open presents. So not like Nathan, our little boy who can’t be still for even 30 seconds. Typically impatient, impulsive, and absolutely no self control; another words, a typical 3 year old boy. Could it be that he was finally getting over being 3, and just in time to turn 4?! Turned out he was just well rehearsed. After watching all the other celebrations take place in the late afternoon, he seemed to know the routine. First thoughts still groggy from his nap…
”Can we have my birthday now?”
“Yes”
“Goody!”

It was a Thomas celebration with a new Thomas laptop computer, a sprinkling of books, DVDs, Lego Duplos, a football helmet, and a snuggly pillow pet thrown in for good measure. Lots of fun, new stuff to play with, and greetings from family and dear friends. A pretty good day for one that was so eagerly anticipated by our still impatient, impulsive, and now 4 year old little boy. Happy 4th birthday Nathan!

A Blue Birthday

Nathan had a blue birthday; Thomas blue that is. It was a beautiful blue-sky day complete with a blue balloon and lots of Thomas the Tank Engine…pajamas, books, a 3-D deluxe play set and best of all, TrackMaster tracks and trains! However, there was nothing blue about Nathan’s mood. He danced from morning to night, starting with the wiggly dance of excitement that it was finally his birthday, to soft-shoe dancing with his singing Winnie-the-Pooh card, and ending with a waltz in Mommy’s arms in the blue twilight of the evening.

“Mommy…”
“Yes Nathan?”
“Sing Bocelli, Mommy”
“Okay Nathan.”
It always starts like this. His favorite lullaby is Andrea Bocelli’s version of “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” It’s our sooth-the-savage-Nathan song. When he was a tiny baby, I’d sing it to him and rock/dance him around the living room. I guess the memories and feelings stuck with him. “So take my hand, take my whole life too for I can’t help falling in love with you…” When I thought I couldn’t love another child as much as I loved Zachary, along came Nathan. From his first breath, the first moment I held him, the first time he looked into my eyes, the first moment he opened his tiny fist and laid his finger tips against my chest, I couldn’t help falling in love with him, and I knew I’d give him my life.

On Nathan’s birthday this year I had the privilege of walking hand-in-hand with my son downtown to pick out his blue balloon. That night we danced in the living room to his favorite song. With his arms and legs wrapped around me and his head on my shoulder, we waltzed to Andrea Boccelli and the love between a mother and a son…in the blue twilight of Nathan’s third birthday. Take my hand son, I love you.

The Forgiven

I think I’ve been forgiven. A couple of months before Bethany was born, Alan and I finally convinced Nathan that his nursing days were over. He was only nursing at bedtime, and just for comfort. It was his time to reconnect with Mommy at the end of the day. I tried to reason with him that he could still cuddle with Mommy, but weaning wasn’t in his plans, so he took control the only way he knew. He boycotted Mommy. Daddy became the object of his affection. Daddy was who he ran to when he needed comforting. My precious little boy with his big blue eyes, the one who wrapped himself around my heart, was heartbroken that Mommy wouldn’t nurse him anymore. Then a few nights ago he asked me to hold him before he went to bed. When I picked him up, he wrapped his legs around my waist and his arms around my neck. He put his head on my shoulder and stroked my hair. I quietly and slowly lowered into the rocking chair and Nathan settled into my lap with a sigh. It was wonderful to feel the warmth and weight of his little body against me again and to know that it was Mommy-comfort that he wanted at the end of his day. Nathan has a new bedtime routine now, and it involves Mommy again.

Bedtime is probably one of the few moments during the day that Nathan is quiet. I didn’t think it was possible that a toddler boy could be as active as he is. He makes Zac, when he was this age, look like a choir boy. Those of you who knew “Zac Attack” as a toddler are probably laughing in disbelief. Yesterday our dear friends Nan and Keith had the boys over to their house to play for a few hours. Nan had a croquet game set up under one of the big trees in their yard. Zac was contentedly knocking a ball into the wickets. No sooner did Nan say to me that she wasn’t sure if Nathan was ready for the game, then we heard the boy yelling at the top of his lungs “WooooHoooo!” We turned around in time to see Nathan swinging the mallet over his head and grinning from ear-to-ear. This afternoon Nathan took a fun time of bubble blowing and turned it into a contact sport, stepping on, running over, and tackling Zac and me. Then, while I was busy manning the bubble wand, he snuck behind me and tried creating a catapult with Bethany’s bouncy chair, and Bethany was still in it! For mealtime, we gave up on Nathan sitting in his highchair; he kept climbing out, and we were tired of telling him to "sit down" between bites. Now he sits in his rocking chair at the table. Well, to be more accurate, we strap him in to his rocking chair and he usually spends most of the meal seeing if he can rock the chair hard enough to tip it over, while Alan or I sneak food into his mouth at the peak of his forward swing. Keeping up with this child is exhausting! Would you guess that Tigger is his favorite character now? Bedtime is Nathan’s redemption period. Tonight as I cuddle him before tucking him under his blanket, I too will miss the nursing baby he used to be, but I will embrace the little boy that he is becoming. It's good to be forgiven.

"Watch This"

“Watch this,” a phrase that strikes fear into a Mom’s heart, especially when it comes from the mouth of a toddler who knows no fear. I suppose we should be relieved when we hear “watch this.” Sometimes it’s the only warning we get before Nathan launches himself through the air and into our arms. A miniature Superman in the making. From the edge of playground equipment or straight from the ground in an attempt to land on top of the “puppy pile” of bodies playing on the nursery room floor; either way it’s arms outstretched, smile plastered on his face, soul and imagination soaring! It’s one of his favorite ways to play with us. An unabashed way of telling me and Daddy that he has absolute faith that we will catch him, no matter what. He has definitely sharpened our reflexes.

We all need someone who can catch us when we find out we are not Superman. That person who gives us a soft spot to land when we’ve overestimated our abilities. Someone in whom we have absolute faith will be there when we need them. God has entrusted three little souls into our family, as well as each other as Mommy and Daddy. Only He can grant us the ability to catch each other and give these little ones both the security to stretch their wings and a soft place to land. One day they will fly on mighty wings…one day, probably too soon for us. But if we do our parenting right, they will soar to great heights knowing that we will always catch them when they need a soft place to fall. All the while calling out “watch this!”

All Boy

Before Nathan was born, I couldn't imagine loving another child as much as I love Zac. Then this little bundle of boy arrived, and I found out what every mother of more than one knows. The heart expands immensely!

Nathan is a toddler now, and he's all boy! He still likes to nestle in Mommy and Daddy's arms when he is sleepy, frightened, or sick. His brother is his favorite playmate and his unsuspecting tackling dummy. He is all about trains, signing with Rachel on Signing Time, singing with Andrea Bocelli, and playing with his family. An affirmative answer from him these days is not "yes" or "yeah" but YAHOO! "YAHOO!" at the joy of life or "yahoo" with a quiet sob at the end of a tantrum. Our little boy is warm and cuddly, snuggles and giggles, energetic and playful. His smile lights up a room and our hearts...YAHOO!!!