The Forgiven

I think I’ve been forgiven. A couple of months before Bethany was born, Alan and I finally convinced Nathan that his nursing days were over. He was only nursing at bedtime, and just for comfort. It was his time to reconnect with Mommy at the end of the day. I tried to reason with him that he could still cuddle with Mommy, but weaning wasn’t in his plans, so he took control the only way he knew. He boycotted Mommy. Daddy became the object of his affection. Daddy was who he ran to when he needed comforting. My precious little boy with his big blue eyes, the one who wrapped himself around my heart, was heartbroken that Mommy wouldn’t nurse him anymore. Then a few nights ago he asked me to hold him before he went to bed. When I picked him up, he wrapped his legs around my waist and his arms around my neck. He put his head on my shoulder and stroked my hair. I quietly and slowly lowered into the rocking chair and Nathan settled into my lap with a sigh. It was wonderful to feel the warmth and weight of his little body against me again and to know that it was Mommy-comfort that he wanted at the end of his day. Nathan has a new bedtime routine now, and it involves Mommy again.

Bedtime is probably one of the few moments during the day that Nathan is quiet. I didn’t think it was possible that a toddler boy could be as active as he is. He makes Zac, when he was this age, look like a choir boy. Those of you who knew “Zac Attack” as a toddler are probably laughing in disbelief. Yesterday our dear friends Nan and Keith had the boys over to their house to play for a few hours. Nan had a croquet game set up under one of the big trees in their yard. Zac was contentedly knocking a ball into the wickets. No sooner did Nan say to me that she wasn’t sure if Nathan was ready for the game, then we heard the boy yelling at the top of his lungs “WooooHoooo!” We turned around in time to see Nathan swinging the mallet over his head and grinning from ear-to-ear. This afternoon Nathan took a fun time of bubble blowing and turned it into a contact sport, stepping on, running over, and tackling Zac and me. Then, while I was busy manning the bubble wand, he snuck behind me and tried creating a catapult with Bethany’s bouncy chair, and Bethany was still in it! For mealtime, we gave up on Nathan sitting in his highchair; he kept climbing out, and we were tired of telling him to "sit down" between bites. Now he sits in his rocking chair at the table. Well, to be more accurate, we strap him in to his rocking chair and he usually spends most of the meal seeing if he can rock the chair hard enough to tip it over, while Alan or I sneak food into his mouth at the peak of his forward swing. Keeping up with this child is exhausting! Would you guess that Tigger is his favorite character now? Bedtime is Nathan’s redemption period. Tonight as I cuddle him before tucking him under his blanket, I too will miss the nursing baby he used to be, but I will embrace the little boy that he is becoming. It's good to be forgiven.

A New Perspective

Bethany is seeing the world from a new perspective these days…sitting up. I’m not talking about the early stage tripod sitting where baby uses two legs and the arms between the legs while the head is still a little wobbly. I mean sitting up, back straight and conducting business in her world or least within the length of her reach. She can’t get into position by herself yet, but she loves the freedom of playing and interacting with the family from her new vantage point. She can see everything around her. She can play with her toys on her terms. She can even snatch things away from her unsuspecting brothers. If a toy ends up just out of her reach, she will “walk” forward with her hands until she can reach it, rear end firmly planted in place, or she squawks until she has someone’s attention who is willing to hand it to her. It’s amazing to me how babies naturally do things correctly. Bethany sits up with a very straight back, as did the boys when they started sitting. How many of us now have to remind ourselves or our older children to sit up straight? Bethany has also become very wiggly when she is stretched out on the floor or next to me on the bed. I recently learned that the constant motion stages are precursors to growth. The muscles are moving to develop for the next stage and new challenges. I suppose that means it’s probably only a short time until our baby girl figures out how to crawl. For now I’ll enjoy being able to set her down on the floor to play and knowing that she’ll be there when I return.

Rocky

He came to us in late September last year. We had just taken in an older orange Tom cat that had been abandoned at the Lions Park. Alan had named that cat Ike in honor of the storm that was brewing in the Gulf of Mexico at the time. One day a few weeks after Ike joined our household, I walked out on the back deck to feed him breakfast. From the rose bushes I heard a quiet “mew.” It was so faint I had to stop and listen carefully to make sure I had heard correctly. After a few more mews, I started investigating. Sure enough, there was a very tiny grey and white kitten under the rose bushes. He was a little skittish, but I was able to pluck him out. The little guy was only about a month old. Not even old enough to have been weaned from his mother. He didn’t know how to clean himself or do any of the things that his mother would have taught him. How he ended up in our yard we’ll never know except that some angel knew that we were the right family for him. “Oh great,” I thought, “just what we need, another cat to take care of and a new baby;” I was due to deliver Bethany within a couple of months. When I was too big and awkward with the pregnancy to do much else, I’d sit outside on the deck or inside on frosty mornings in the nursery rocker and cuddle the little guy.

Ike was who taught the kitten how to be a cat. After a few weeks of kitten supplement sprinkled on canned food, Rocky was starting to look and act like any other healthy, playful kitten. Of course the boys especially adored him. It was hard not to since he was just so darn cute, and he stayed that way even when he wasn’t little anymore. Alan named him Rocky. We were taking a tremendous chance that this kitten was a boy. There was a time we thought we might have a Rockette. Rocky and Ike became good friends. As the weather turned colder, the two cats cuddle together for warmth. Alan built them an insulated cat igloo for the deck where every morning when they emerged their fur was toasty warm, no matter how cold it was outside. One day Ike didn’t come home. Rocky was visibly dejected, but Alan put a little heating pad in his igloo, and Rocky crawled in to start his life as our lone outside cat. Some weeks later Alan spotted Ike a few blocks away, and we assume that he had moved on to find another home where he could spend the winter months inside. Our yard was the only home Rocky ever knew. On cold winter days, he would nap in a carrier just inside our back door. No matter where Rocky was outside, when Alan called him he came running. In the rare moments when Alan wasn't in motion, you could find Rocky sitting where he could touch Alan, either with paw, tail, or in his lap. Alan has always had a special way with cats. That cat loved that man with a heart bigger than the one God gave him.

Rocky was also gentle with the boys. When Zac and Nathan were in the yard playing baseball, Rocky was the outfielder. I’ve never seen a cat shag balls. At Easter he showed the boys where all the eggs had been hidden, and when Zac practiced with his new fishing rod, Rocky was right there ready to go catch the big ones with him. Even with Bethany he was curious but gentle. When we would put her on the deck in her bouncy chair, he sat where he could keep an eye on her, and sometimes he would sniff her head. Sniffing heads, by the way, is how cats identify their family, whether it’s the people family or other cats.

A few weeks ago we decided to do the responsible thing and have him neutered and vaccinated. Try explaining to a 4 year old boy why you are having a pet castrated! Rocky spent several days in the garage after the event, which was probably good for the fledgling bird population. He had become an expert birder, even bring home full grown ones. I knew my newly planted shade garden was safe from rabbits because Rocky would catch them too, and I certainly didn’t have to worry about the boys finding a garter snake, because if it wiggled, hopped, or flew, it was fair game. Rocky and I were friends too. A couple of days after Rocky was released from the garage, I was outside planting in the new garden. He had been following me around the yard and lying down just where I was working. I finally stopped to lean against the split in the trunk of our apple tree when I felt this creature running up my back, over the top of my head, and launching across the yard…all without claws. It was more funny than shocking that this fun-loving cat wanted to play tag.

Last night, at about 10:45, Rocky died. Earlier this week we noticed that he wasn’t his usual energetic self, and something didn’t look right with his mouth. It turned out that his mouth was full of lesions. The veterinarian we took him too cleaned him up and dosed him with antibiotics and cortisone. Alan and I worked all week to keep him medicated and hydrated. He eventually stopped eating, and then drinking. Whatever caused the infection was stronger than he was, and it was stronger than our love for him. We knew at bedtime last night that he probably wouldn’t make it through the night. As I tucked Zac into bed and headed up the stairs, I heard him say a little boy prayer to Jesus to make Rocky well so that they could play again soon. I walked outside to the garage and looked in the window to see Alan sitting in a chair in the middle of the garage with his head hanging down and Rocky on a towel on the floor…Rocky’s front paws reaching out to touch Alan’s foot. Alan and I tried one more time to help him, but Rocky took his last gasp while were holding him.

Zac was still awake when it was all over, so I lay on his bed beside him and told him that Rocky was curled up in Jesus’ lap, and he wasn’t hurting or sick any more. He was excited until he realized what I was saying. Alan and I had a long discussion with him about the soul and heaven and what happens when we die. Not that we hadn’t had this conversation before, but this was Zac’s first experience with something that he loved dying. Alan and Zac buried Rocky beside the rose bushes this morning; the place where I found him and where he took solace when he was sick and wanted to rest outside. The white roses are in bloom now. A few hours ago I walked out to the garden to check on the growing plants. I half expected to see a gray and white bundle of energy romping through the grass in the backyard or scaling a tree. As I climbed the back steps, my eye was caught by the freshly dug grave. Eventually the grass will grow over the spot, and the boys will move on with their summer. I’m sure there will be a long line of pets in our lives as the children grow. But there will only have been one special Rocky. God’s speed my friend.

Summer Start

Summer has started in South Dakota…sort of. It’s 49 degrees here and raining, but we really have had some warmer days. Even if one is not a farmer, here so much of what people do is dictated by the weather. Since the sun rises just before 5:30 a.m. and doesn’t set until 10:00 p.m., there is plenty of time for projects and play. This is the time of year when people do home fix-up and repair, put in their gardens, go fishing and boating, walk and ride their bicycles with their family, and generally play outside. This is probably one of the few places left where a child may leave his house right after breakfast to go play with friends, and probably not return home until dinner time, and the parents don’t have to worry. Oh, the freedom of childhood is here again!

We have had our share of projects this year. The only room in our house that was not the right color when we bought it was Zac’s bathroom. Now that we have had days warm and dry enough to leave the windows open, Zac has a “new” bathroom. We also had a portion of our yard that was overgrown and a good harbor for mosquitoes, mice, and garter snakes last year. Alan and I decided to clear it out and create a play area/shade garden. Thanks to the loan of a tractor and box tiller from a neighbor, Alan was able to quickly clear out the trash trees and bushes and prepare the area for planting. Only here does it not raise more than a little curiosity to see a tractor parked in the neighbor’s yard. This summer the boys will be able to use the sandbox that Daddy built in that area of the yard.

The kids have had a great start to the summer too. Zac went fishing for the first time a couple of weekends ago. The local lake is stocked with fish every year. Not only did he have fun learning how to fish with Daddy, he had success and brought home three fish. Zac also started T-ball this year. He has been such a baseball fan for a long time, and he is very good at hitting and throwing the ball. He has had fun in his first week learning how to catch and play with a team.

Nathan recently acquired his own T-ball bat to add to his first glove. He wants so much to be just like his big brother, but he is not old enough for the T-ball team, so he’ll have to settle for playing ball in the yard. He loves falling asleep at night listening to baseball games on his radio. Nathan’s favorite phrase now is “It’s behind you…over there.” It doesn’t matter if what he is referencing is right in front of you; he says “It’s behind you.” Maybe we should work on his direction this summer.

Bethany has started to bloom. She is a baby who loves life! She smiles and coos and giggles and laughs. She says “Momma” and Dadda” when she wants our attention. “Baba” is still practice sounds, but “NaeNae” is clearly her version of “no no” when she is not happy. She sits in her highchair to eat meals with the family, but she still prefers to nurse and cuddle with Mommy. Bethany is also sitting up on her own for short periods, but she really likes to play while sitting in somebody’s lap. It won’t be long before she is crawling and chasing her brothers through the house. She also loves to be outside. The weekend we cleared out the shade garden area it was warm and breezy and our apple tree was in full bloom. Bethany played on the picnic blanket until she was tired and fussy, and then she and I lay on the blanket together under the apple tree with the blossoms softly drifting down on us until she nursed herself to sleep. I can’t think of a better way to start our first summer with our boys and new addition.

The Catskills in Spring

Marry me and your life will be full of adventure, Alan said. He wasn’t kidding. Our latest adventure was a cross-country trip to the Catskills, by car. What would posses us to make such a trip with three preschoolers?...the final clean out of my father-in-laws place. Alan’s family has owned 16 acres near Boiceville, NY for 47 years. Originally the property consisted of only a sculpture’s studio, but when his parents retired, they moved there to live fulltime and in the process they constructed a house and a four car garage. Up to the time of Paul and Marie’s retirement, the family spent weekends and summers living at the studio, playing in the spring-fed mountain brook and nearby Esopus Creek, hunting, fishing, swimming, skiing, and growing up. Marie died 3 years ago, and for a 90+ year old, the property was too much for Paul to keep up, so the time has come to sell it and move on. Last spring Alan discovered that a pipe had broken in the house during the winter and the house and contents were ruined, so he spent a lot of his time away from us while he was salvaging what he could and supervising the gutting and clean out of the house and other buildings. On this the final trip, Alan didn’t want to leave his family behind, so we packed up the Suburban and took the children on an adventure.

During the 3-day drive over and back we saw wind farms in the plains, drove through the inside of a mountain and up into the clouds, and watched oxen graze on a mountainside, and stopped to admire the Peekamoose Falls. We arrived in the Catskills expecting cool temperatures, but soon we had the boys stripped down to overalls and no shirts and were cooling the baby off in the brook because of temperature in the high 90’s. The warm weather awakened the mountains a little everyday as they slowly turned from winter brown to spring green starting in the valleys and stretching to the peaks, and the forsythia, dogwood, and other flowering trees burst into bloom. By the end of our stay, Zac and I had started a wildflower collection. Of course his favorite was the dandelion, and he picked new ones everyday to add to our pressing book.

The wildlife was everywhere (including our constantly on-the-move little boys). We saw woodchucks, a beaver lodge, deer, wild turkey, owls, hawks, nesting Canadian geese, and a golden eagle. We have golden and bald eagles here in South Dakota, but no matter where I see them, I am struck by the majesty of these magnificent birds. The cabin where we stayed had a dumpster that had to be chained at night because of the bear that liked to visit after dark, and yes, we could see the evidence of its visit by the huge claw marks on the lid. We also discovered some robins’ eggs on our porch steps one afternoon. When we sat on the steps and looked waaayyy up in the tree, we spotted the perfectly made nest right over our heads.

The boys had two favorite places to play. One was on a train caboose near Mt. Pleasant (between Phoenicia and Boiceville). The other was near the water, either the brook at Grandpa’s place or in the Esopus near the cabin. Zac was fascinated watching the fly fisherman and with building rock sculptures on the banks, and both boys spent hours throwing pebbles and small rocks into the water. I should qualify “small” rocks as any rock that they could pick up that would make a satisfying “kerplunk” when it hit the water. Sometimes they didn’t qualify as small and the boys almost fell in the water for the effort. When Alan was a boy, there was a crawfish that used to live in the brook near a bridge at the house in Boiceville. Alan took the boys to the brook to show them where he and this crawfish had played and wouldn’t you know it, there sat a fat and happy crawfish! We joked that it must have been a great grandson of Alan’s former playmate.

One of the major attributes of the Catskills is that it is the water source for the City of New York. Much of the land has been purchased by the City, and reservoirs have been created. The day we left, Alan drove us out around one such reservoir deep in the mountains. I was struck by the solitude. The only boats that could be seen were row boats, and we passed just a couple of cars in an hour. There were also only a very few home sites. It was just water, trees, wildlife, and quiet. Alan said that the City not only owned the reservoir, but most of the land surrounding it, and only non-motorized vehicles were allowed on the water. To live in such a nurturing environment! At least we were able to visit for a little while.

Oh, and the reason for which we went…well, Alan finished the clean up and closed the chapter on Boiceville with a For Sale sign, and we headed for home. A few days after we returned, a late afternoon rain shower ended with a spectacular rainbow that we watched develop from our front porch. Even with our adventures, there is still no place like home.

Grandview Carnival

The church we joined this year hosts an annual carnival the week after Easter. We attended last year, but I think we had more fun this year because the boys really got into the anticipation and excitement of the event. There was a cake walk, bean bag toss, dart throwing, jump house, race track, toilet paper toss, Plinko, duck pond, and many more games, plus food and a jailhouse. Our friend Nan did a lot of the decorating and planning this year, as well as face painting during the carnival. She covered the jailhouse with Wanted posters of various church members. Nathan was Wanted for stealing cookies, Bethany for stealing hearts, and Zac was Diablo. Even Alan had a Wanted poster with his picture on it. As soon as we walked into the carnival, Alan was nabbed and thrown in jail. Nathan, who is usually physically attached to his Daddy, didn’t want to go in with him, nor did he want Daddy in jail. Unfortunately when Daddy went to jail, he went with all our tickets in his pocket, so we couldn’t even bail him out (1 ticket from someone not in jail to bail out someone who was). The Sheriff and Deputy took pity on Nathan, and Daddy was sprung by the tears of his 2-year old. It took Nathan a little while to warm up to the fun after his rocky start. Meanwhile, Zac made a bee line to the face painting to complete his cowboy look with a horse on his cheek. Then our friend Marti arrived to play games with the boys. Nathan made a quick recovery and was off and running with Marti in tow, and Mom and Dad were grateful for the extra set of hands. By the end of the carnival Zac had played almost every game, Nathan had reaped all the prizes he wanted from the duck pond, and Bethany was asleep in her pouch, snuggly attached to Mommy.

Probably the best part of the carnival, this church, and our small town in general is the people. It’s the only place I know where we can lose sight of a child, and we know he will end up in the arms of an adult who loves him. Thanks to all the members of Grandview Reformed Church who have so warmly welcomed our family.

A Bucket Full of Eggs (Easter 2009)

Where I grew up, Easter was usually greeted with warmth, bluebonnets, and new spring outfits. In South Dakota it seems the big question is snow suits or spring sweaters. This year we compromised with snow boots and lined pants with the boys’ new sweaters. Our dear friend Nan kicked off our Easter celebration by having the boys over to her house on Good Friday to dye Easter eggs. She is a very brave person to take on such a project with a 2 and 4 year old, but Nan raised three boys, so I figured she knew what she was getting in to. I’m not sure who had more fun, Nan or the boys!

Zac’s Easter basket sported a new fishing rod. It may be a while before he gets to use it, but in the mean time he can learn how to cast with it in our yard. Nathan received his first baseball glove and ball. He is so proud of his glove. As soon as he understands that the glove goes on his left hand so he can throw the ball with his right, he’ll be headed for baseball greatness. Bethany was our own snuggle bunny for Easter. She hung out with Mommy and watched her brothers run around the yard looking for the eggs that the boys had dyed and left for the Easter cat to hide. I didn’t know that hunting eggs could be a sport, but it was a great way to wear off some of that boy energy. Oh, did I say Easter cat? Well, since Rocky won’t let a rabbit get anywhere near the yard, he had to take over egg duty.