The First Thanksgiving

With our young family of six and no relatives living nearby, the challenge of a holiday is to make it special, different from any other day. When I was growing up, a change of scenery was enough to make the day a holiday, a trip to the grandparent’s house for dinner, a drive to look at the autumn colors, a gathering of relatives at our home. Now there is nowhere to go and no gathering of the extended family around our table. But this year Thanksgiving was very special. This Thanksgiving started more than 10 years ago with a decision, a family planning decision. Alan and I wanted to revive the holiday table and fill it with relatives, and the first step would be to fill it with our children.

We have many things to be thankful for this year. Some big, and so many small that there are too many to count. God has been so gracious to us, this year especially. Of course one of those gifts is baby Amanda. This year she completed the vision of our Thanksgiving table. We had two adults and two children sitting at the table in chairs, one child in a highchair, and the baby sitting on her Daddy’s lap. We were all there, for the first time, our first Thanksgiving as a completed family. One day I hope the children will bring their spouses and their children to our holiday table. Our house will overflow with relatives. This year, our house overflowed with love and gratitude. Yes, it was a happy Thanksgiving.

Mr. Really Useful

I’ve often joked that if we could look inside Nathan’s head, we’d find trains chugging along on a circular track. At his 5-year old check up, his doctor thought he saw Sir Topham Hatt waving out of his left ear. Nathan’s love affair with anything related to Thomas and Friends or trains in general is still going strong. Even the thought that his little sister might not be interested in Thomas is incomprehensible to him. He’s a little one-tracked, to use a pun. He tends to run through the house, and when I have to tell after him to slow down, I get some kind of comment yelled back over his shoulder referencing Thomas chugging down a track. His Dad and I have to remind him that Sir Topham Hatt often tells the steam engines to slow down.

One really good thing that has come from his infatuation is that it has nurtured Nathan’s natural desire to be helpful, or in Thomas’ terms, to be a really useful engine. He is our little helper; carrying in stuff from the Suburban, unloading the dishwasher, loading the washing machine, and playing with his baby sister. Sometimes it’s a little more help than Mommy wants at the time, but, in general, it has been a useful tool to keep him occupied and out of trouble. As much as he loves Thomas and Friends, I expect if his interest in Thomas ever fades, he’ll still continue his love affair with trains.

I know he’s growing up when I can’t get footed pajamas in his size in the Thomas theme. He’s at that intermediate age where he’s still very much a little boy cuddled with his stuffed dogs and bears in bed and dragging his rubby around the house when he’s tired or sick, and yet on the brink of being a big boy, riding his bike, playing baseball and football with his brother, reading lots of books on his own, and learning handwriting and math. I admire the change in him. I watch him from a distance and see that the baby look in his face is fading. His body movements are smoother and more self-assured, and his questions are becoming more thoughtful. And yet I still want to hold onto the little boy. The one who cuddles in my lap and would rather have me read to him more than anything in the world. He’ll always be my baby, but this year he’s 5! Happy birthday, Nathan.

The Alpha

The Alpha, the first edition, our first miracle baby is now 7 years old. It’s hard to believe that it was 7 years ago when he made his appearance in this world and turned me into Mommy, Alan into Daddy, and the three of us into a family. He is independent and tenacious and yet very sensitive. Zac has always been a blend of a tough little boy with a soft heart. Considering one of his passions is hunting, I’m not sure how that combination is going to resolve, but he has a few years to go before we find out.

I once heard someone say that a little boy will turn anything into a gun, even a banana. That’s Zac. He uses his play rifle or pistols, a stick, or even his finger, if nothing else is handy and he thinks his brother deserves to be shot, complete with sound effects. If he’s not hunting something, than he is riding something, or, more specifically, galloping around on his pretend horse. He LOVES horses. And I thought girls were horse crazy?! He draws them, reads about them, and pretends to ride them all over the house and yard. It probably doesn’t help that every time he goes to the farm store with his Daddy, Alan buys him a piece of horse equipment. Good thing Molly cat likes the currycomb. Zac has even asked Santa for horse tack. His Dad and I would give anything to be able to make the dream of his very own, real live horse come true.

At 7 years old, Zac is also our homeschooler with a full year now under his belt. Math, science, history, grammar, spelling, vocabulary, handwriting, he does it all. Sometimes willingly, sometimes not, but mostly very well. He really likes science and history. Both involve curling up with Mom for a good reading session. He’s really good at grammar and handwriting, he writes in beautiful cursive. Zac is way ahead of grade level in math. He says he doesn’t like math, but it’s because things are starting to be challenging for him; he doesn’t like challenges. His favorite time is recess. Inside recess during naptime when he can build elaborate structures with Legos, Lincoln Logs, or blocks; outside recess where he can let his imagination and his legs roam free.

Seven years have come and gone and three siblings have been added, but Zac’s still our Alpha, our first miracle. God’s blessing to you today and always, Zac, just as you have blessed our family. Happy birthday little man!

Please, Slow Down

Why is it that the younger they are in the family, the bigger the hurry they are to grow up? Honestly, the more I want to hold and cuddle and make this time in her life last as long as possible, the faster Amanda develops. This month, she rolled over. Front-to-back on the 4th, and back-to-front on the 11th. One day she was happily playing on the floor on her tummy. I was out of the room for less than a minute when I heard her crying. I found her on her back. She wasn’t hurt, but certainly surprised. How did that happen? Wishful thinking on my part that she’ll be like her oldest brother who rolled over once one day and did not do it again for several weeks. So back on the tummy she went, and almost as quickly she rolled over again. So it’s not a fluke. Amanda really can do it. Well, at least it’s only one direction. Maybe I still have a little time before she has the coordination and strength to go back-to-front. A week later she rolled front-to-back, and before I could get to her to flip her over, she figured out how to do it herself…back-to-front. Now she can spin herself around on her belly to reach and grab that neat looking toy someone left for her to explore. It’s fascinating to watch her discover her world; there is so much to do and explore. But could you please slow down baby girl?

A Trio of Teddy Bears for a Tea Party

It’s the big year for three. Bethany is now the third child who is also celebrating being 3 years old! Sugar and spice and teddy bear tea parties, that’s what she is made of. She is the sweetness of bedtime snuggles and kisses for her new baby sister, and the spice of Little Miss Independent, “No, I do it,” or whatever contradiction she can think of. Bethany’s the tomboy who can run and play with her brothers and loves dirt, and yet she hates to get her hands messy. She loves her clothes, but doesn’t like to get dressed in the morning. Purple and pink are her favorite colors, and I’ve figured out how to buy her clothes to mix and match likewise. And of course she has to have her own style of potty training.

Her favorite past time is dancing. Not the graceful ballerina style, but the foot-stomping, arms flailing, hip swaying, head bobbing, hair flying kind of dancing. Full-throttle, kind of like her approach to life. Her Daddy jokes that she’s going to bounce on the floor so hard, she’ll end up in the basement. If she’s not dancing to the music, she’s singing it, with every ounce of her 3-year old being, and usually on key. Even hard to pronounce words don’t intimidate her. If the word doesn’t come out easily, a little more volume usually helps the effort. She has certainly earned her place as a star in this year’s church Christmas play.

Creative, inventive, and helpful she is too. There isn’t a problem she can’t solve with something to stand on, literally and figuratively. Staying one step ahead of Bethany is a challenge. She’s a leader, and she’s our littlest star in this world. Happy birthday little girl!

First Family Outing

Nine year ago I was driving our new Oldsmobile Alero in Houston traffic. Alan and I had longed for a family, but it wasn't happening. As I glanced in the rearview mirror to check the traffic behind me, I had a glimpse of the backseat. Empty. Would we ever see it filled with car seats and children?

Fast forward six and a half years. Bethany was very new, and we took a trip with our three children. The Ford F250 quad cab we bought so many years ago in anticipation of our family was full. Car or booster seats were spread door-to-door in the back seat. If we had one more child, there wouldn't be room. We didn't want the size of our vehicle to dictate the size of our family. Alan and I talked about what type of vehicle would give us room to grow. Then he started the search. Within 24 hours he found exactly what we were looking for...in California. A used, but in good condition, brown, 4x4, diesel Suburban. "A real South Dakota kind of truck," as one friend put it. A deal was made, travel arrangements booked, and Alan and 2-year-old Nathan were off on a cross-country adventure to bring it home. Just being able to spread out our three children would be a relief. Everyone would have a little breathing room, and Mom and Dad would have some peace.

Fast forward another two and a half years to our first outing as a family of six. Amanda was a month old. It was a trip to Sioux Falls in late July; a day-long excursion involving extra diapers, packed lunches and snacks, extra water, and a change of clothes for "just in case." This particular trip was for stocking up on supplies and returning Auntie Kristy to the airport. A bitter-sweet trip because we were saying good-bye to my best friend and the kids' Godmother after a wonderful week-long visit. As we were leaving the airport, I glanced in the rear-view mirror to make sure everyone was secure. Bethany and Nathan were arguing over a toy in the far back. Zac and Amanda were in the middle seat, Zac having just graduated from a booster seat and Amanda asleep in her infant seat. A far cry to the empty backseat of the Alero 9 years ago.

"It's a girl, Mom!"

The youngest child in our family has always been the one to predict the gender of the expected baby. Twenty month old Zac was absolutely determined that the baby Mommy was carrying was a boy. An ultrasound confirmed his prediction. Toddler Nathan was just as successful in predicting what an ultrasound confirmed; baby number three would be his little sister. With baby number four, the ultrasound could not verify the gender. Baby was asleep and wouldn't budge no matter how much it was poked and prodded. We have always gone into the later half of pregnancy and labor knowing the gender of the baby. There are usually too many surprises along the way for that detail to be one of them. But not this time. Would we be a family with three boys an a girl, or two of each? Bethany predicted another girl.

Here was the Mommy-daughter conversation at bedtime a few months before the birth. Bethany was patting my swollen belly saying "Baby come soon?!" I asked her if it's going to be a boy or a girl. She emphatically replied, "Girl!" "What if it's another boy and you have a little brother?" "It's a girl, Mom." Though she's only 2 years old, she calls me 'Mom' instead of 'Mommy' when she is really serious. "You realize if it's a girl, you'll have a roommate for life?" "It's a girl, Mom."

Alan and I picked out two names and settled in to wait. At 2:42 a.m. on Sunday, 10 July, the wait was over when Dr. Hagge announced "It's a beautiful...girl!" Amanda Lynn had arrived! God's secret for our family was an even split of two boys and two girls. After a shaky introduction to her little sister in the hospital, Mommy and Amanda were greeted by Bethany at home with "Mommy's home with MY baby sister!" And the sister love affair began. The boys are thrilled with Amanda, and Bethany thinks we brought home her best friend. As for Mom and Dad, we're exhausted and our hands are full, but so are our hearts. Never did we imagine that God would pour out His Blessings on our family so abundantly.