Colors of the Trains

As most Moms with boys know, Thomas the Tank Engine is a big deal. For the few people that have no idea what I’m referencing, Thomas is an animated train engine with a group of friends. Each engine has a name, signature color, and personality. The engines teach children the value of manners, being careful, and consideration of others. Zac was the first one in our family who really got into Thomas as an adjunct to his infatuation with trains. Nathan has taken the love of Thomas to a new level. He can sing the songs at least as well as Zac, and he knows every engine and each engines’ color. “Thomas” was one of the first really clear words he could say.

About a year ago someone gifted the boys a Thomas the Tank Engine bath tub paint set. It has colored paint/soap for each of the primary colors, as well as green, and several painting implements. Yesterday was one of the numerous cold, windy afternoons that seem to drag on when the children are confined to the house. We turned it into a warm event by heading to the bath tub for a little painting session. While Nathan was busy pointing out that his spots of paint were “blue Thomas, red James, green Percy, and yellow Ben,” Zac was learning about mixing colors to make new ones. What a fun way to learn colors and clean up at the same time. Hey, I even talked the boys into cleaning the bath tub while they were wiping away their masterpieces!

Roll Over

Bethany is our third baby, and I’m still amazed and awed at how much development takes place in such a short period of time. Today, at just past 3 months old, our little girl rolled over. I had put her in the floor of the nursery with one of her favorite toys for some tummy time and walked around the corner into the kitchen to clean up something. I felt an urging to go back and check on Bethany with the thought that I’ve never missed one of my children rolling over for the first time. Thank you God for that angel. Just as I rounded the corner, she rolled from front to back. Just a casual roll that looked like she had always known how to do it. Now I know that seems like such an insignificant development to most, but think about it. Before babies can roll over, they have to be able to hold up their heads, which are HUGE and HEAVY compared to the rest of their bodies. Then babies have to be able to tuck a shoulder, flip their hip, and rotate a leg just to maneuver into position to roll. When one has only been able to hold one’s head up for just a matter of weeks, rolling over is a big step. Not to mention that rolling over is a precursor to bigger and better things like crawling. Oh no, crawling! Oh well, for now I’ll enjoy the time that Bethany can still be found relatively in the same location where I put her down.

Just as amazing to watch is Bethany has started to grab and rake objects with her hands to bring them in for a closer look. Finally, the development that is absolutely awe inspiring…she is signing to us. Most of our friends and family know that the boys know sign language. Alan and I have continued the legacy by signing to Bethany almost since we brought her home. We’ve only really worked on two signs diligently…Mommy and Daddy. A few weeks ago she surprised us by signing both to us, appropriately. She signed “Mommy” when she was playing with me and “Daddy” when Alan walked into the room.

I know I just sound like a proud Mommy crowing about another one of her smart babies. Look with me, if you will, through another set of eyes. The ones that see how beautifully and fearfully God made us. It is only a glimpse of the joy of His Creation through small steps and little feats.

Lessons From Four Decades

It’s almost hard to believe that I’m celebrating the end of my first four decades on this earth. I certainly don’t think 40 is old, and maybe not even the half way point of my life, but as with most things, age is relative. While we were walking to the grocery store the other day, my preschooler asked me if I’d be 4 on my next birthday. I said “well, 4 with a 0 behind it. That’s about 10 times your age buddy.” He looked at me and said “31 is old.” It was so cute and said with so much love that I couldn’t possibly be offended. I know he can count to 40, but it probably never occurred to him that 31 comes before 40. Ah, the logic of a preschooler.

I get a little tickled at the people that live in our small town. For the most part they marry young, and they stay married. By the time many of them are in their 40’s they become grandparents, and they look forward to holding their grandbabies. Here I am at 40 and Alan in his mid 50’s, and we are holding our own infant daughter and toddler and preschooler sons. There is something to be said for children keeping one young. I suspect we are a bit of an enigma to some of the people in this town. I had one older woman stop me on the street last summer when she realized I was pregnant, and she asked me if we did this on purpose. I just smiled and said oh yes, and we’re looking forward to this baby.

I have always believed that birthdays beyond childhood are not just a commemoration of the day one was born; they are a celebration of the person’s life and what that individual has accomplished thus far. So what have I learned in 40 years and what do I want to pass on to my children? Here is the short list.

We are responsible for our happiness. No one can make us happy (or angry, or sad, or disappointed). We control our feelings and choose our emotions.

Joy is what we are not what we have. True joy comes from self satisfaction…a peace about who one is. Joy is what endures; it is what is left after the happiness fades.

Life is a precious gift, and so are the lives God has entrusted to our care.

Living by God’s principles is a fulfilling, peaceful way to conduct one’s life. People who do, sleep better at night.

A kiss and a hug, a simple show of love, can heal lots of wounds.

Praise, compliments, and affirmations are more productive and accepted than criticism and judgment.

Opinions vary, and everyone has one. Ask questions, listen, evaluate, and make an informed decision. Then move forward with resolve and determination.

Follow your passion. Your world will be a better place for your efforts.

I suspect this list of realizations will only grow during the coming years. After all, God isn’t finished with me yet.

Reflections in the Ornament (Christmas 2008)

I’ve always believed that Christmas is more than what happens on the 25th of December. Christmas is truly a season. A season that begins with Thanksgiving and ends with the transition into a new year, and along the way we have a birthday party for Jesus. Seems to me like a good way to end the year.

Alan and I have talked a lot this year about family traditions. What our families did when we were growing up and what we want to do with our children. It seems that every year we change things up a little, so this year I asked him why 10 years into our marriage we are still trying to establish our traditions. Alan chuckled and said probably because we keep adding children to our family.

There are some things to me that define Christmas like decorating the house, the smell of fresh pine (even if it’s from a candle), Christmas cookies, pecan pie, finding that special gift for each person on your list, and discovering the secrets buried deep in a stuffed stocking. I have favorite growing-up memories of Christmas like hanging ornaments on the tree, making cookies with Mom, the lighting of candles at a Christmas Eve church service, caroling with my friends, a visit with Santa, and driving through neighborhoods to see Christmas lights.

Living in small town South Dakota during Christmas is fun. Not only can we walk down the street and hear Christmas music playing on the outside speakers of the local hardware store, we can do so on a snowy evening on our way to the grocery store where we put Zac and Nathan’s letter to Santa in the collection box. The boys received a response from Santa in our mailbox a few weeks before Christmas. This was the first year Zac was brave enough to sit on Santa’s lap, and he did so the night of our town’s Christmas celebration. Santa arrived at the end of the light parade and made his way to City Hall where he happily and patiently listened to every child who would talk to him. Of course because Zac was willing to talk to Santa, Nathan wasn’t about to be left out, so he climbed right up on Santa’s knee. Between the two of them, I think they talked Santa’s ear off. After visiting with the jolly old elf, Zac really got into the swing of Christmas. He wanted to know why we had not decorated yet, so Alan put up a string of lights on our patio railing, and I dug out what decorations I could find quickly and easily. One evening Alan bundled the boys in their snowsuits and took them out on their toboggans to look at the Christmas lights. This year we adopted an elf. He was named Occo, and he reported the boy’s behavior to Santa each night. Every morning the boys scouted around until they found where Occo was perched for the day. On Christmas Eve Occo hitched a ride to the North Pole with Santa where he will stay until the Christmas season starts again. During a few snowy afternoons, Zac and I made Christmas cookies. It’s not an easy task to pull off with a infant that wants to stay attached to me all the time, but at least we made enough cookies to put some out for Santa Christmas Eve. Zac had fun wearing his apron while he helped mix the ingredients, and the boys and I danced to Christmas music in the warm kitchen while the cookies baked.

Alan and I have some traditions of our own. I have a great recipe for egg nog (the real thing with eggs, cream, and brandy topped off with a sprinkle of nutmeg). A few cold December evenings, after the children went to bed, Alan and I sat in the glow of the Christmas lights in the living room with holiday glasses of egg nog and tried to reconnect with each other. Christmas Eve we did what so many parents do, we stayed up late and helped Santa with toy assembly. On Christmas day we unwrapped our presents and the baby’s while the boys napped.

Christmas Day was filled with giggles and laughter over the discovery of toys, plenty of good food, and Christmas music playing on the stereo all day. What I will remember most about this Christmas is the glow of Christmas lights reflecting on my children’s faces, silly boys dancing to “cowboy” Christmas music (as Zac put it) in the kitchen, and a newborn baby in my arms who served as a reminder to everyone in our family of what we celebrate this time of year, the birth of our Savior. Only time will tell what our children will remember most about Christmas. What I hope they keep in their hearts is the joy, peace, and love of the season.

The Hanger-Upside-Downer

When Zac was about a year old, we were at a park on a play date with a new friend and his Mom. The other Mom noticed two preschool-age boys playing on the swings. One was sitting on the swings and pumping his legs and the other was hanging upside down from his swing, hair almost dragging the ground. My friend laughed and said there go our boys in a few years with Zac being the hanger-upside-downer. Well that's Zac today. He is our first precious gift from God. Everything for which we'd hoped, prayed, and dreamed, and then some. He is non-stop energy, naturally athletic, a great dancer, and a cowboy-farmer-construction worker at heart. He lives life for today and to the fullest, and slow down to eat and sleep...well, we're still working on that. He straddles the fence between being a toddler with his little brother and being the preschooler he is, but he knows the place he has in our hearts. No matter how we or he feels about the preschool years, with all the challenges this age brings, he is our first love, and when he wraps his arms around me and whispers in my ear "Mommy, I love you," I know I've done something good in this life.

Daddy-Daughter Dance

When Alan and I decided to try for a third child, we didn't care if we had another boy or a girl this time. We found ourselves in a position that we never imagined. We were planning our family with the thought that we might actually have some control over whether or not we could have another baby, which was a long way from the 4 years it took to get Zac here. Of course another boy would have been easy. We have boys, we know boys, we speak boy, we are equipped for boys! Well God must have smiled and said "I'll mix it up a little."

Knowing we were having a girl left us a little dumbfounded. How did that happen? What do we do with a girl? How do we raise her? Leave it to Alan to figure it out. He first said he didn't know how to raise a girl. He knew boys because he had been a boy...but a girl? Well, he fell in love the minute he held her. A week after her birth she was crying in her cradle swing during breakfast. Mi Manchi, sung by Andrea Bocelli, was playing on the stereo. Daddy picked up his tiny, new daughter, wrapped her in her white satin blanket and slowly waltzed her around the living room. Baby was finally quiet snuggled in a ball against her Daddy's chest...the first Daddy-daughter dance. Alan figured out how to raise a girl...you hold her close when she needs you, and you love her for the rest of her life.

Note to self: The next time Bethany is wrapped in white satin and dancing in her Daddy's arms will probably be at her wedding. Remember Mi Manchi.

All Boy

Before Nathan was born, I couldn't imagine loving another child as much as I love Zac. Then this little bundle of boy arrived, and I found out what every mother of more than one knows. The heart expands immensely!

Nathan is a toddler now, and he's all boy! He still likes to nestle in Mommy and Daddy's arms when he is sleepy, frightened, or sick. His brother is his favorite playmate and his unsuspecting tackling dummy. He is all about trains, signing with Rachel on Signing Time, singing with Andrea Bocelli, and playing with his family. An affirmative answer from him these days is not "yes" or "yeah" but YAHOO! "YAHOO!" at the joy of life or "yahoo" with a quiet sob at the end of a tantrum. Our little boy is warm and cuddly, snuggles and giggles, energetic and playful. His smile lights up a room and our hearts...YAHOO!!!